In this week’s newsletter:

• The science behind the stories in our head
• A writing experiment for the next time uncertainty takes over
• News! 🎉

Hi, it's Aine.

From what I’ve been hearing at events this week, some of us really need this one.

It barely needs an introduction. It starts with those unanswered messages and the conversations we replay, or that strange look or tone we register after the fact.

Then we get to the juicy stuff… spiraling into stories we tell ourselves.

Stories that are often far more catastrophic in our heads than in real life.

Here’s the science

Your brain is built to simulate possible future events, using pieces of memory, whatever feels unresolved or at stake right now, and emotional cues.

That prediction capability is normally useful because it helps us prepare, plan, and avoid problems before they happen. But throw in some uncertainty, especially around relationships, reputation, sense of belonging, competence or control, and the simulation can get stuck on repeat.

Your brain starts filling in the gaps where it doesn’t have information.

Things like what someone meant or what could happen next. Because the stakes can feel emotional and social, the story often leans toward threat, like rejection, embarrassment, conflict… you know the drill.

Instead of helping you prepare, your mind keeps returning to the same imagined outcome, adding details and urgency along the way.

It takes up the mental workspace you need for what’s in front of you now. And the more you replay it, the more familiar and emotionally real it can feel.

But vivid and emotionally charged don’t mean it’s real.

It’s still a prediction.

Which means you can pause and get relief by separating what actually happened from the stories your mind built around it.

Here’s an experiment for the next time the stories start

(Don’t forget to write and not just think these over - the separation happens more clearly when you write it.)

Step 1

Go back to the start of the story, the actual event or conversation, and describe what happened with only observable facts - no interpretations yet.

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Step 2

Write: “The parts of the story my mind is adding are…”

This is where you put your assumptions, feelings, predictions and interpretations.

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Step 3

Write: “Here’s what I know, and what I can do next…”

Stick to the evidence available now and one reasonable next step. If it’s a step you can take now, do it before you close this. If it’s for later, write a day and time next to it.

A writing prompt to keep nearby this week whenever your internal storytelling kicks in:

Is this a fact, or is this my brain trying to make uncertainty feel complete?

News

• The first JournalingFix online guides are live! Thank you to everyone who purchased during the presale. Fix Your Nights is now available. Fix Your Day and Fix Your Money Patterns release on August 31.

• There are several in-person and online workshops in the next few weeks. Full public event schedule is here.

• I'm excited to be moving forward on one of the biggest requests I've gotten - a text-based system that delivers JournalingFix prompts to you when you need them. I'll do a beta launch this fall, with a kick-off the fourth week of September. It includes an hour of 1:1 guidance with me, then one month of text support. Three people are signed up and I'm looking for four more to round out the beta launch. Reach out if you'd like details and cost.

As always, you can respond directly to this email with questions, feedback, and requests for future topics.

Cheers to a week with a few less stories in our heads,

Aine

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